Delusional Valentine
by Zaraawwrr
Summary: Tatsuki gets mad about Rukia and Ichigo's constant fighting, and tricks Rukia into kissing him hoping it would douse their anger. But Rukia is made to believe that only best friends kiss each other on Valentine's day! How messed up can this get? IchiRuki


**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, or any of its characters. This was a REAL dream I had, but I was interrupted in the midst of it, because my mom called me to wake up. So I just **_**had **_**continue this. To see how it all ends.**

One-shot or NOT – **Delusional Valentine**

**Summary:** Tatsuki gets irritated about Rukia and Ichigo's constant fighting and tricks her into kissing him hoping it would douse their anger. But Rukia is made to believe that only best friends kiss each other on Valentine's day! How messed up can this get?IchiRuki

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**Normal POV**

"Hey Rukia, did you complete the biology notes?"

"Yeah, why?" The raven-haired girl looked at him anxiously as they came out of the classroom.

"I forgot to take them down. You wouldn't mind me borrowing it right?" he asked her with the furrowed eyebrow expression.

"As long as they come back to my hands in safe return, then yes you little strawberry." Rukia smirked at him.

"Whatever you little midget."

"Orange-haired clown!" she barked.

"Shrimp!" he growled back at her.

"Carrot top!" she yelled.

"You little dormouse!" he yelled back.

"You're awarded worst friend of the year. And what is a dormouse?"

"Shut up."

People stared at the two as they ended their silly argument. Tatsuki looked at the both of them and gave her evil smile. "Hey Rukia, you don't mind walking home with us right?"

"Sure, it's fine."

Tatsuki really wanted the arguing to stop. She needed to do something. But what? Set them up?

Orihime joined them and whispered to Rukia, as Ichigo walked away from the corridor to go home, "Kuchiki-san, don't argue with Ichigo. It's not a good sign for your friendship. And it's Valentine's Day tomorrow!"

Tatsuki lightened up at this. She knew all about Soul Society, and Rukia and Ichigo's shinigami business. Also…she knew very well about Rukia's limited knowledge about romance.

"Say Rukia, have you thought about giving Ichigo a present?" Tatsuki asked happily already starting a plan.

"No, why? Is Valentine's day some holiday?"

"It's not a holiday but I know what you should give him as a best friend." Tatsuki winked at Orihime. Orihime knew Tatsuki had cocked up a plan, but knew she shouldn't say much about the topic, so that she didn't ruin it. If it was a plan by Tatsuki, then it meant that it _should_ work no matter what.

"What should I give?"

"A kiss." Tatsuki quickly looked at Orihime whose face was full of questions. Tatsuki secretly gave her a sign to continue as if this was normal.

"A what? What's a kiss?"

"You see, you and Ichigo are best friends. Back when I was in middle school…this was the present I gave to my best friend. Not a girl but a guy. These are presents you give to your boy best friends on your first valentine you share with them together." Orihime now knew Tatsuki was lying. Best friends don't do it! _Lovers_ do! Man, this was going to turn out damn hysterical.

Then Orihime quickly said, "Come to think of it, I was going to give the same gift to Uryuu-kun. I hope he likes it!" she squealed.

Rukia was deep in thought. She'd heard of kissing and that it was some sort of greeting. It was mentioned somewhere in her acting book and she had looked up the meaning of it before. All she came up with was some sort of "greeting."

Tatsuki said quickly, "It's not something you usually do with guys but it's very special. Especially on Valentine's Day" said Tatsuki smiling as if she was the fibbing fibster of Fibville.

"Oh." Rukia took out her "ACT" book she always carried around. "There was something about that in this book, but I never-" Orihime grabbed the book, realizing what Rukia as almost about to find out, and started sprinting across the hallway corridor out of the school, "I'll borrow this Kuchiki-san! I'll give it to you tomorrow! I need it to practice my gift for Uryuu-kun!" she disappeared.

Tatsuki looked at Rukia, and as they walked out of the school and passing the lake to their homes, she explained what the so-called 'greeting' was and how it as done.

"Now after you do that…you know the best thing to do?" Tatsuki said demonically.

"What?" asked Rukia interestedly, not even knowing she was being punk'd.

"You say happy Valentine's Day, and run away!"

"Oh…"  
"And you must never refer about kissing and stuff on the internet or books!"

"Why?" Rukia became more curious.

"It'll have a bad influence on you. It might even haunt you." Tatsuki really was the fibbing fibster of Fibville.

"Oh! I'm never going near Ichigo's laptop ever again!" said Rukia looking scared. They both reached the point where they usually part on the road and stopped.

"And Rukia?"  
"What?"

"After you say Happy Valentine's day I think you should say, 'you mean a lot to me' and then the time comes for you to run away."

"What'll happen if I don't?" asked Rukia looking like Curious The Cat.

"He'll think you're really weird."

"Thanks Tatsuki. But why this gift? Aren't there any others? It's kind of…gross."

"It's not gross. Believe me if you haven't tried it, you wouldn't know."

"Really?" Rukia stared at the floor.

"Really." Tatsuki assured her everything would be fine.

_That night Tatsuki and Orihime have a chat…..8:00pm._

"She totally fell for it!" Tatsuki said laughing.

"Are you sure she wasn't acting?" Orihime asked wondering.

"She wasn't. I'm sure. Thanks for stealing her acting book."

"What if she tries to find out about it on the internet or… other books?"

"I told her if she did that it would haunt her forever. She believed every word I'd said." The both burst out laughing.

"You're a genius Tatsuki! But why do you want them to be together so much?"

"Duh. So they'll stop fighting with each other."

"You think that'll work?"

"I am praying that it would. You know…"

"What is it Tatsuki?"

"Well, all I know is…Ichigo's never done it before. With anyone."

"So?" Orihime really didn't know what Tatsuki was getting at.

"Well the thing is…I hope Rukia is really who he wants. If it's not the case then…"

"Don't worry, he's definitely smitten with Kuchiki-san. I saw the way he looked at her all those days…that's why I let go of him…"

"You never told me this before Orihime!" Tatsuki said shockingly.

"Well, it's not a pretty story is it." She sniffled a little. Realizing she would get Tatsuki's concern she quickly added "But I like Uryuu-kun now."

"Is the gift thing for Uryuu really-?"

"No! I'll just give him a normal present. I just said that to reassure Kuchiki-san. I really want them both to be together."

"YOU'RE SO NOT GIVING HIM SOME STUPID DINNER WITH YOUR STRANGE COOKING ARE YOU?"

_I think we've seen enough of the long CHAT_

_At the Kurosaki house…._

Rukia goes into Ichigo's room to see how he was doing, and also, to get her biology book back. She longed to see him. She always felt so lonely in Karin and Yuzu's room. She wanted to be in his closet again. But she never questioned herself _why. _Tatsuki chose the right plan to play against these two busy _bees_.

She didn't even knock on his room door. She just opened it without hesitating. "Hey Ichigo where is my-"

Before she could finish she her eyes were covered by a hand and was pushed out of the room. Then the door slammed shut. "HEY!" she yelled.

"Knock before you enter. What do you want?" he asked quickly grabbing a pair of jeans. While shirtless, he opened the door.

She blushed at the sight of him. "Umm…well.." She forgot the reason why she even came there.

Suddenly Kon said, "Nee-san please come in here!"

She entered the room not looking at Ichigo. Quickly getting involved with Kon, she asked. "What is it Kon?"

"Your handwriting in your biology book is quite neat." Kon looked at her smiling. You're wonderful Nee-san. The wonder of all!" he attempted to come close to her but Ichigo swiped him away. Kon went flying.

"Is something wrong Rukia?" Ichigo asked.

"Uhh..no umm…I came to get my bio book." She took it from his desk.

"Oh….is that all?" he asked tentatively.

"I wanted to ask you if you were planning to give a Valentine present tomorrow?"

"Oh. _That."_ He looked at her wonderingly. "Well no actually. But I'd like it if you'd be my Valentine. I mean, you know, all the other girls would back off from me you know."

Rukia looked at him confusingly but didn't ask any further. "Oh..ok."

"Thank you, Ichigo."

"No, thank _you _Rukia."

She went out of his room smiling.

_The next day……the faaaaaateful day……at lunch._

Everyone in class was asking around about the whole valentine thing.

"Kuchiki-san, what present are you getting for your Valentine?" asked Chizuru.

Rukia looked at her embarrassed a little. "That's a secret."

"Ooh…." Said all the girls at lunch.

"And what about you Orihime?" Chizuru asked,

"Mine's secret too. But I'll tell you who. It's Uryuu-kun."

Tatsuki looked at Orihime, "Don't be so stubborn and just call him Ishida!"

"Well….I..um…"

Tatsuki turned to Rukia as all the girls got deep in conversation about Orihime. "So, Rukia, are you planning on doing it?"

"Yeah."

"You're not scared right?"

"Of course not, why would I be. He's my best friend!"

"Oh, yeah….right." Tatsuki looked at her. If she actually knew what she was doing, she'd be scared to _death._

"Last night Ichigo asked me to be his Valentine. Is that a good thing?"

"Heck yeah it is!" Tatsuki whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" asked Rukia unfamiliarly.

"I just don't want them to hear. Now...when are you planning to do it?"

"Um…tonight…"

"Nice. If you need me just call. And make sure you wear some nice NORMAL dress. And don't put lipstick."

Orihime upon hearing this said, "You could put some unnoticeable eye shadow."

"Uhh..no thanks. I'll go for it naturally. Why are you guys so…serious-looking?" Rukia was suspicious about them now.

"Oh, its nothing. Good luck Rukia." Orihime also said good luck.

_That night………………_

"Hey Ichigo want to go outside..?"

"Yeah wait a second. I'll get ready and come." He was still wearing his home clothes.

'_I wonder why he needs to actually get ready.'_

"I'll go sit on the roof okay?" she'd said it out loud and noticed Karin looking at her like she was mad. Her video game was even paused.

"The roof?" Karin wanted to know.

"Yeah, um…gazing at the stars tonight…"

"But how can you get up there all by yourself?" Karin asked quizzically.

"I can. Goodnight Karin."

She went outside and jumped on the roof. It was an easy feat, but not for a human.

She took out some tissues from her pocket and wiped the area she wanted to sit on. Roofs were irritatingly romantic.

No sooner Ichigo came up and handed her something soft. "Wha-?" Rukia looked at the small plush toy. "Chappy! But where'd you get this? I mean it's not in stores-"

"I paid Ishida for that." He flashed a smile at her that sent her head spinning.

"Thank you so much Ichigo."

She looked at him cutely and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

As she broke the kiss, she said, "Ichigo, I'll never find a best friend like you. I just know it. I hope we'll be best friends forever."

"Uh.." was all he said. He was really confused about what she had said. '_Best friends????????!!!!'_

"That was my Valentine present. I know I'm no expert at the whole Earthly gifts, and ways of courtesy and all that but whatever. I just wanted to give you something special."

"What are you talking about? You're really strange you know that Rukia. Those aren't the stuff you usually say after kissing someone."

"Huh? What do you mean? We're best friends…all best friends do it!"

"Uhh, Rukia I think…you've gotten something wrong." Ichigo was blushing madly like he'd never ever before.

"Wrong? Is something wrong with me being your Valentine?" she asked him.

"Hey, hey. Don't get too pushy now. I'm not in the mood to argue. Did you read about this…erm…gift-giving thing on the internet or…"  
"No. Tatsuki and Orihime told me it was this thing best friends do on their first Valentines day…"

Ichigo coughed. "DID YOU JUST SAY TATSUKI?" Darn it. '_She's the mastermind of schemes!'_

"Um..yeah? Did you not hear me?" Rukia was in complete mystification.

"She told you to do this?"

Rukia nodded. "What's wrong Ichigo?"

He was cursing himself a million times now. "Rukia have you heard of 'love'?

"Yes I have. It's some extraordinary affection two individuals share between each other. As in like committing themselves together?"

"Do you understand what that is completely?"

"Yes. I came across it once…"

"Do you know under what category 'kissing' goes?" he asked her blushing slightly again.

"Uh…best friends?" she asked thinking it really true.

"No. Lovers. People in _love _damn it!" he exclaimed.

"Huh? You mean best friends don't do it?"

"No. Not on the lips anyway."

"Then…." It was all becoming clear to her now.

"You were tricked. Tricked in to doing it…" Ichigo didn't look at her. He couldn't. She did it not because she loved him. She thought of him as a best friend. _Just a best friend. Forever._

Rukia was speechless. She'd done something…she wasn't sure she wanted to do. But if it was Ichigo she didn't mind.

"Why would they trick me?" Rukia asked him her face reddening now that she realized how easily she'd been swindled.

"Umm…because..uhh…they think we like each other…?"

"Like? You mean love?" she asked her face looking unemotional. She wasn't the least bit embarrassed. Her face was serious. Earnest. Grave. Humourless.

"Yeah…" his voice trailed off. He wanted to say something to her. He needed to. She was his life. If she never existed, he'd never be able to save his family. It's all because of her he's alive. She'd saved his life so many times. And he'd saved hers too. They both were perfect. Just complete. If one was away from the other, they'd be in trouble. Their bond was incomparable. Matchless. Inimitable. Too good to be _true_. But he couldn't say it. So she did it for him in the end.

"Ichigo, do you love me?"

"Um…I guess I…do." He smiled at her. "Do you?"

Tears filled her eyes. "I do." She held him in his soft embrace, and they both talked until she fell asleep. In his arms. He wished he could make time stand still. Like this. For always. With his first real love until the end.

He could've sworn a star fell from the sky as he thought about their time spent together.

_Next day….._

Ichigo and Rukia went to school holding hands.

"Ichi-nii, could you come here for a second?" Karin and Yuzu were both staring at him and Rukia.

"What is it?" he came nearer to them while leaving Rukia to wait.

"Ichi, are you and Rukia like….umm…together?" Yuzu managed to ask.

He laughed. "Yeah why? Is it a problem?"

"No..we were just making sure."

As Ichigo walked away Karin whispered, "So now he thinks that's how we know. Don't ever tell him we caught them on tape!"

"Yes, should we show it to dad?" Yuzu asked.

Karin said slowly, "After school." She grinned evilly.

_At Ichigo's school……._

As Ichigo and Rukia walked into the classroom it sort of surprised Tatsuki. '_Ichigo's hands are on her shoulder! Looks like as if they hooked up or something…' _She smiled to herself.

Ichigo whispered to Rukia, "I believe you have some yelling to do", as he gave a hand gesture towards a wicked looking Tatsuki.

"Sure." She giggled as he kissed her cheek when no one was looking.

She went to Tatsuki and Orihime. "I am supposed to hate you and yell at you all I can but I think that I cannot."_ 'Or maybe I could._' She thought.

She screamed in to Tatsuki's ear in an instant which made some of the class stare at them. "JUST GO GET A LIFE YOU LITTLE BACKSTABBING ILLEGITIMATE FREAK!"

Orihime laughed. Tatsuki yelled, "DAMN YOU! I DID YOU A FREAKING FAVOR!"

"I know. Sometimes I really should actually love you guys. Next time don't tell me I have to have to _Do It _with him before marriage or we both can't have a relationship or something." They all burst out laughing.

Ichigo came walking towards them with Keigo and Mizuiro. "Hey guys."

Rukia winked at him. And they started it all in an instant. Just to annoy Tatsuki.

"Hey strawberry."

"Midget."

"Carrot top!"

"Shrimp!"

"Pissed-off-orange-haired-dude!"

"Dormou-" he paused. "Did you just called me _a pissed-off-orange-haired-dude_?!"

"Umm…I guess I did Orange-headed Kurosaki!"

Everyone sighed. (Imagine four white mushrooms falling out of their mouths)

Sometimes, Tatsuki's plan doesn't completely work. Even if she's the fibbing fibster of Fibville. And the queen of strategies.

**The End.**

**A/N: So what didja think? If Rukia ever talks about displays of affection in the anime, DON'T LOOK AT ME. In this she has no idea about it. Even if she knows what love is. Death gods aren't really supposed to ponder about emotions right? So let's just say she never knew about 'KISSING.'**

**I'LL GIVE A CUPCAKE TO EVERY REVIEWER. If I can………………………………………….Love ya'all.**


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